I need to state some gratitude here. I need to say that I am grateful, actually, that people like me, that my family loves me. I mean I have actually grown up a bit through the years, and I have realized that sometimes I’m attention-hogger and can be kind of obnoxious. I have spent years saying funny things because they were funny and not realizing that they were sometimes (or often) at the expense of someone else, even someone else who was present. In my growing up process, I now try not to take someone else’s story and make it about me. Again. Except sometimes I forget and do it; sometimes I am in the middle of doing it and realize it. That’s kind of an improvement, isn’t it? Sometimes I am even aware to comment that I am doing it.
But part of the truth is, sometimes I note that I hate it when it isn’t about me. OK – I don’t hate it, but I must prefer it to be about me, probably, because it is still something I struggle with.
I was thinking these thoughts to myself, laughing to myself that it was kind of funny, ‘writing’ the thoughts in my mind; then I thought, this is actually an important factor in social skills. So, I decided to write about it. I note that in actually writing about it, it isn’t as funny as it was when it was just in my own mind. Hmmm. I believe I see some more maturation coming on. Well, just proves as long as you are still breathing, self-realization can continue to happen. I guess this also proves my old therapist Dr. Moses right when he was explaining something to me about my ex– and sociopathic husband – people can improve. Well, probably not sociopaths.
Me, again -
Victoria J Mecham
I must correct you dearest aunt o' mine. As a former sociopath I must say, yes we too can improve. I agree though that I love it when it's all about me, and when it's not I make it so.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I can totally relate to your first paragraph. I think it's just good natured people, and we're overly fun. But we don't mean to hurt anyone and we are just teasing. For example, I'm always looking for a way to make any situation (whether work, or out with people) funner by infusing humor. And a lot of the time, it's not appropriate. I have a hard time toning down that impulse to lighten everyone up.
ReplyDeleteHowever your second paragraph, I don't relate to, because honestly, I HATE being the center of attention. See, my husband doesn't believe that because when we go dancing, I get out on the dance floor and tear it up! Good luck keeping up to those who are around me - naturally gifted in that area. But what he doesn't realize is that's when I can cut loose... and I'm not paying one bit of attention to those watching or other people on the dance floor - in fact, I often bump into them when they encroach on my extended dance space. I'm better being me when I don't have to look at people (like when I'm dancing and I'm not looking at anyone), or when I'm online blogging or on Facebook. I hate being stared at!
So I don't think you're bad like you think you are - we're just a little too much fun for certain situations and sometimes we need to tone it down a bit.
P.S. Do you see how I just took your post and made it about me? :-)
Rachel
Victoria, I loved this, I can relate on so many levels, but like Rachel do not like to be the center of attention. I did notice that I was commenting on peoples status's and making it all about me, so I stopped commenting for a while, but then I realized that sometimes, it is ok to relate a similar experience, and do my best to relate it, so it isn't me taking the limelight. And for the record, I never got the "attention hog" vibe from you, I like you just the way you are.-Jen
ReplyDeleteRachel - just one of the family, I guess. Jen (I just typed 'Joe', so if I ever type that and don't notice, then you'll know I mean you) - thanks. Both of you - I love you guys. Girls.
ReplyDeleteAnd Jon - I never believed you were a sociopath - just - uhhmm - a guy with issues. But you might agree with me that it is not common for someone with sociopathic traits, or even a complete sociopath (and that is their only trait) to make personal improvements. In fact, the good Dr. Moses spoken of above did tell me that it is not common for this to happen, but it is possible. So when I made the comment (ok - again, done for humor and not necessarily based on fact) that a sociopath couldn't improve, I was actually thinking of husband #2.
ReplyDeleteAnd it is apparent that you have made changes. I hope you know I have always adored you - you are practically one of my sons! Love you! Victoria