Fireplaces - I'm Confused

So ... with Mercury in retrograde and all, the weeks leading up to Christmas were a bit more hectic than I had anticipated. December 24th found me working until 2:40 p.m., with only a few presents purchased, a couple for grandson Kameron and a couple for little grandson Conor.

I left my job at 2:40, headed to Kohl's and did a big chunk of shopping. I was driving my son Jon's car, because it has all-wheel drive, and working windshield wipers (important!). The doors do not lock, however. So from Kohl's I zipped home to unload purchases. Not bad, less than five minute drive. My son Eli (or 'E' as one of my clients calls him) said he needed to pick up a few things, so off we went together. This is good, because guys who can lift bulky stuff are handy when shopping.

Son Andrew said he wanted fireplace tools. He lives in a really terrific house, but until this year they have not used the fireplace. My son Jake is also using his fireplace for the first time this year, since he has finally finished the hardwood floor installation in his family room. So E and I scurried into Home Depot, at 4:59 pm. I thought they were closing at 5:00, so we were rushing. Turns out they weren't closing until 8:00 (On Christmas Eve!!!)
We seemed to be the only customers in the store, with employees just kinda hangin' out, waiting to help us.

So, we asked where we should look for fireplace tools, and were escorted to that location. The only ones I could see were the floor displays. The Home Depot Guy said it was ok to take those, but that didn't sound right. Besides how would one wrap them? I looked around a bit, and finally found fireplace tools in cartons; Whew!!! So E loaded two (different style) sets into the cart, and at that moment I spotted . . . a small electric-fake-fire-thingy.

Now, for most of you who haven't seen my home, be assured that I live in a very small townhome. With furniture and people the same size that formerly fit in my large home. Although some of the townhomes in the neighborhood have fireplaces (REAL ones) mine does not. I have gazed yearningly at electric 'fireplaces' for several years, but knew we couldn't fit one into our space, and besides, I couldn't really justify not paying the bills just so I could look at an electric 'fire'.

But this one was the perfect size (with a bit of jahoogling around of other stuff) and it was definitely the perfect price. $99.00.!!! So I pondered, and finally could justify a bit of budget juggling (it is Christmas, after all, and ... and ... and...) Oh, what the heck, I won't see this price again. And I'd really like to have even a fake fireplace!!! So I had E put it in the cart also.

Then off to check-out. A pleasant young woman smiled as she began checking us out, chatting in a friendly way as Eli lifted bulky cartons from the shopping buggy for her to scan. Pleasant Young Woman looked at the items we were buying, and said, "Is this fireplace real?" I laughed and said

"No, it's electric". She looked puzzled, paused for a moment and replied, "Buuut …you have fireplace tools?" I decided it was more fun not to explain it to her.

Teri G Mecham
(mother of Jon Schroeder and Jen Schroeder Martinez)