Okay, I have to vent. My husband is DRIVEN! A bit OCD, but not bad. He is taking these 2.2 desert acres and kicking it's butt. He likes doing it and wants to tell me about the yard, what he wants to do, where we will put our dream pool one day, bridges, etc. So how come everytime I have an idea for the house, I get one or all of the following:
1. "I'm never going to have any time to do anything - I'm going to be stuck working around the house for years." Note: When it's his idea, he doesn't mind hanging out all day in the yard. Oh, and I have the better ideas of course.
2. "We won't have the money for that for about 5 years." Except that what I'm suggesting doesn't have to be done all at once, and can be a long term project built upon each summer, and much of it is free labor.
3. "I can't picture it!" Despite my photos of exact items and drawings, and CAD 3-D drawing.
4. "You come out and do it!" So of course, I say "Gladly!", and now he has to go in and stay inside with the 26 month old baby, which he'll never do. I'm more than capable of doing this building and yard stuff [I took wood shop!] but he makes switching very inconvenient for me by screaming a lot, throwing tantrums, etc. So in the end, I am watching the kids, and he's doing the work. He does this on purpose.
So I get after him for all of the above and tell him to just forget it - I can work close to the house and watch the child. I don't need his help to do my project. Then he says "No! This is my house too! You're not going to do stuff without getting my permission." Note, he often forgets to ask me what I think until it's done.
I'm going to do it anyway. Have power tools, will create!
I can relate to the tantrum part lol. Good for you! I did that last year, and my husband got nervous and started helping me, I am pretty sure he thought I couldn't hack "it" (whatever it is).
ReplyDeleteAs we were rearranging our living room yesterday, he kept trying to tell me my ideas were wrong. But now that it is all put back together, he absolutely loves it. Good luck in your endeavors!
I think he's more scared because he knows I can do it. Therefore I tackle bigger projects than your average female. His OCD makes him stress. Well, I did ask nice, and he didn't want to even discuss it properly. So at that point, I do what I want.
ReplyDeleteTear it up, Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking there are always three sides to every story, his, hers, and the truth. I wonder if we will ever get to hear the other two?
ReplyDeleteThank you Nathan for your vote of confidence! As for you Jonathan, your comment doesn't surprise me at all.
ReplyDeleteI am just teasing I hope you know. It's cheap entertainment for me.
ReplyDeleteI love the picture by the way. Is that your front gate? jen (too lazy to sign in)
ReplyDeleteIt's out my back porch. But I do have a matching one in the front yard - check out my house photos on facebook.
ReplyDeletethe more I look at it the more I love it. That shot you posted is so beautiful that It reminds me of a Georgia O'keefe painting. Such an amazing photograph. And your house is stunning in general.
ReplyDeleteThe sunsets here are incredible. Probably what they would be like if Utah didn't have smog. That pic is looking over White Sands. It looks like that every night. Never ceases to amaze me. And note that I have a very cheap camera and still came up with that shot.
ReplyDeleteOK, girl, glad you're going to go ahead and do what you want to do. Ye gods and little fishes!!!! PERMISSION??? WHAT???!!!!! GODDESSES need not ask for permission OR approval to live their lives. Any man who thinks marriage grants him ownership papers, or thinks a wife needs his PERMISSION to persue her own interests or to create her own dreams does not deserve to be married to a GODDESS!!!! And then he has tantrums on top of it? Oh dear, his insecurity/ineptness must be showing! Silly boy. Just go sit him in the corner until his tantrums cease, and ignore him while you create.
ReplyDeleteYes, I remind him from time to time I was a parent while he was still in High School :-)
ReplyDeleteNormally, I don't ask permission. But I would like his help with this, and it's always polite to at least ask their opinion. But when I get the response I got, you can be damed sure I blaze right ahead.
Re-reading this post, and comments. It was so long ago, this comment probably will never be read by anyone. But the post was making me giggle again. As for the Comment from my beautiful sister, Teri - I believe the "permission" Rachel's husband was talking about was permission to make changes to the mutually owned property - what any of us as women would require from the men, and would throw absolute fits about if 'he' decided to make changes to without checking with 'her'. I don't think either of them even thought about the word 'permission' as meaning, "honey, can I please?" Are you kidding? This is Rachel we are talking about! Anyway, that is the way I interpretted it. Victoria
ReplyDeleteYeah, good point Victoria. And just to update everyone, after I designed it on the CAD software we have, he really liked it - we're on week 3 of the project. :-)
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